Blog of Jokes

A guy sitting at a bar at Gatwick noticed a really beautiful woman sitting next to him. He thought to himself: "Wow, she's so gorgeous she must be a flight attendant. But which airline does she work for?" Hoping to pick her up, he leaned towards her and uttered the Delta slogan: "Love to fly and it shows?" She gave him a blank, confused stare and he immediately thought to himself: "Damn, she doesn't work for Delta." A moment later, another slogan popped into his head. He leaned towards her again, "Something special in the air?" She gave him the same confused look. He mentally kicked himself, and scratched American Airlines off the list. Next he tried the Thai Airways slogan: "Smooth as Silk." This time the woman turned on him "What the F*** do you want?" The man smiled, then slumped back in his chair, and said "Ahhhhh, Northwest!"

There once was a married couple whose relationship was good except for one thing. The husband had a terrible farting problem. After an extremely fart filled day the wife told the husband that one day he's going to fart all of his insides out. He told her she was crazy and went to take a nap. While the husband was napping the wife started to prepare dinner. She then thought of a funny prank to play on him. She took the insides of the chicken she was cooking and put them under the sheets in bed next to the husband's rear. After a while she heard some comotion upstairs. She could hardley hold in her laughter when he came running down the stairs looking quite distraught. "You were right," said the husband, "I farted all of my insides out........ but thank god, I was able to get them all back in!"